Attachment parenting has ruined my kids and my life. I can't go anywhere without getting crazy looks, my kids aren't normal, I'm never alone and my baby doesn't even cry when I leave. God! What did I get myself into?
Chances are you will never hear these words spoken in seriousness. The life we live is different and odd in the eyes of others and our kids don't react to things in ways that a child brought up by conventional parenting. But if you stop and look a little closer at what you see as odd maybe you could pick up something that might make your family run a tad smoother.
Whenever my children and I go out in public I know going into it that I will get at least three crazy looks. Sometimes it's for how I am with my daughter. She is only 18 months so when she gets overly excited or angry and starts hitting me I never yell at her. I gently take her hands and rub them nice and then softly rub my check with her hands while saying "nice hands". When I do get short fused (which I strive not to) and yell at her I always tell her I am sorry with in seconds. Then I give her a snuggles. If she won't stop reaching for things I find a few things that she can't break and bring them to her so she can feel them and explore them. You would not believe how many mothers felt it necessary to let me know if it was their child she would have gotten a spanking and "no way in hell" would they ever apologize for raising their voice to their kids. I also get this a lot with J.D. J.D. is hyperactive, while ADHD to be exact. So there are sometimes he get willed up and runs across a store. Instead of screaming at him I take his hands, have him look me in the eye, breath, and remind him that he needs to focus on staying by his mom. I get so many dirty looks whenever other people see this. No matter the fact that it works. Why is it that when I use peaceful techniques that work and teach my kids instead of punishing them then I am a horrible mother?
You would be amazed how many surprise looks and even one nasty comment I got because my daughter doesn't cry when I drop her off at the gym daycare for one hour, three times a week. Or the fact that she loves it when I (and only me lol) grabs her by her middle and swing her like a clock upside down. Or the fact that I can go into any room in my house and Lillybug doesn't freak out. They think this means my daughter isn't very attached to me and has no fear. They couldn't be more wrong. I have spent the first 18 months of my daughter's life being there for her and quickly meeting any need she had. I breastfed her, co-slept, snuggled, and treated her with respect. My daughter is ok with me dropping her off because she knows she can trust e. She knows I'll be back. And she knows if she gets sad mommy will be there right away. I always have, the moment she gets upset the gym daycare is under strict instructions to call me right away. So she can leave my side without a whimper because she knows she can trust me and I'm still there for her. Same reason why I am the only one she allows to swing her upside down. Her grandfather tried it and she freaked. So did her aunt with the same results. But she signs for me to do it and laughs in delight when I do. I think this is because I am attached and she knows beyond a doubt that I am her protector.
As for the never going anywhere alone- when I really need a mommy night once every 4 or 5 months or so I get it. Besides that I wouldn't want to be anywhere that my babies are not.
Chances are you will never hear these words spoken in seriousness. The life we live is different and odd in the eyes of others and our kids don't react to things in ways that a child brought up by conventional parenting. But if you stop and look a little closer at what you see as odd maybe you could pick up something that might make your family run a tad smoother.
Whenever my children and I go out in public I know going into it that I will get at least three crazy looks. Sometimes it's for how I am with my daughter. She is only 18 months so when she gets overly excited or angry and starts hitting me I never yell at her. I gently take her hands and rub them nice and then softly rub my check with her hands while saying "nice hands". When I do get short fused (which I strive not to) and yell at her I always tell her I am sorry with in seconds. Then I give her a snuggles. If she won't stop reaching for things I find a few things that she can't break and bring them to her so she can feel them and explore them. You would not believe how many mothers felt it necessary to let me know if it was their child she would have gotten a spanking and "no way in hell" would they ever apologize for raising their voice to their kids. I also get this a lot with J.D. J.D. is hyperactive, while ADHD to be exact. So there are sometimes he get willed up and runs across a store. Instead of screaming at him I take his hands, have him look me in the eye, breath, and remind him that he needs to focus on staying by his mom. I get so many dirty looks whenever other people see this. No matter the fact that it works. Why is it that when I use peaceful techniques that work and teach my kids instead of punishing them then I am a horrible mother?
You would be amazed how many surprise looks and even one nasty comment I got because my daughter doesn't cry when I drop her off at the gym daycare for one hour, three times a week. Or the fact that she loves it when I (and only me lol) grabs her by her middle and swing her like a clock upside down. Or the fact that I can go into any room in my house and Lillybug doesn't freak out. They think this means my daughter isn't very attached to me and has no fear. They couldn't be more wrong. I have spent the first 18 months of my daughter's life being there for her and quickly meeting any need she had. I breastfed her, co-slept, snuggled, and treated her with respect. My daughter is ok with me dropping her off because she knows she can trust e. She knows I'll be back. And she knows if she gets sad mommy will be there right away. I always have, the moment she gets upset the gym daycare is under strict instructions to call me right away. So she can leave my side without a whimper because she knows she can trust me and I'm still there for her. Same reason why I am the only one she allows to swing her upside down. Her grandfather tried it and she freaked. So did her aunt with the same results. But she signs for me to do it and laughs in delight when I do. I think this is because I am attached and she knows beyond a doubt that I am her protector.
As for the never going anywhere alone- when I really need a mommy night once every 4 or 5 months or so I get it. Besides that I wouldn't want to be anywhere that my babies are not.