A friend of mine, Angela, posted this on her Facebook last night "It is too easy to make someone your 'everything' when you've
never experienced anything.". Seems like a simple enough statement but it still
has me thinking. I'm 25, a mother, a woman who has been through some really
rough patches. Every Time I get into a relationship I seem to jump eyes
blind hoping for the best. In a short span of time this man does become my
everything. He becomes my closest friend, my confidant, my lover, and much more.
Then things don't work out and I am left standing there completely lost and
trying to figure a way back to comfort. Why do I let this happen? Am I really
that slow? Or do I just want to hurt myself? Or maybe it is as the quote says
"It is too easy to make someone your 'everything' when
you've never experienced anything." What have I really experienced in life? My
immediate answer was "a lot" but how much mixed experiences do I have? Next to
none. The great amount of experiences I have had in life have been
negative. I have a few really awesome childhood memories but after that what? In
my adult life the only experiences that I can say that have been truly positive
with no twinge of something negative have all been related to being a mother.
The first time I held my baby, taking care of him as a baby, watching him figure
out how to walk, teaching him to read and write. These are the only good
experiences I have had. So in my dating life is it any wonder I get into
relationship that are doomed to fail? I have not had any good experiences in
love so I can I start to make one? This is a question I don't seem to have
an answer to (and if you know me you know how much it pisses me off not to be
able to find an answer). Instead I keep repeating the same bad
experience. There is so much more in this life that can/should be positive.
Maybe I need to get out there and live a bit and watch other people who make the
best out of life before I attempt to live a new romantic experience. There
is so much more to life. I want to experience the positive emotion of pride when
I accomplished something really hard, the emotion of passion when I fight for
something I really believe in, the positive experience of being humbled by
something so great I will realize how small I really am. I want to
live. Then maybe after I have truly lived some I will no longer find
the need to make someone my everything, because I will be my
everything.
never experienced anything.". Seems like a simple enough statement but it still
has me thinking. I'm 25, a mother, a woman who has been through some really
rough patches. Every Time I get into a relationship I seem to jump eyes
blind hoping for the best. In a short span of time this man does become my
everything. He becomes my closest friend, my confidant, my lover, and much more.
Then things don't work out and I am left standing there completely lost and
trying to figure a way back to comfort. Why do I let this happen? Am I really
that slow? Or do I just want to hurt myself? Or maybe it is as the quote says
"It is too easy to make someone your 'everything' when
you've never experienced anything." What have I really experienced in life? My
immediate answer was "a lot" but how much mixed experiences do I have? Next to
none. The great amount of experiences I have had in life have been
negative. I have a few really awesome childhood memories but after that what? In
my adult life the only experiences that I can say that have been truly positive
with no twinge of something negative have all been related to being a mother.
The first time I held my baby, taking care of him as a baby, watching him figure
out how to walk, teaching him to read and write. These are the only good
experiences I have had. So in my dating life is it any wonder I get into
relationship that are doomed to fail? I have not had any good experiences in
love so I can I start to make one? This is a question I don't seem to have
an answer to (and if you know me you know how much it pisses me off not to be
able to find an answer). Instead I keep repeating the same bad
experience. There is so much more in this life that can/should be positive.
Maybe I need to get out there and live a bit and watch other people who make the
best out of life before I attempt to live a new romantic experience. There
is so much more to life. I want to experience the positive emotion of pride when
I accomplished something really hard, the emotion of passion when I fight for
something I really believe in, the positive experience of being humbled by
something so great I will realize how small I really am. I want to
live. Then maybe after I have truly lived some I will no longer find
the need to make someone my everything, because I will be my
everything.