besides the enjoyment of having a nicely organized closet, the fact is I haven't
touched or moved one thing in that for about 3 yrs now. It really got me
thinking about the awful place in my life I was in when I got here, how hard I
had to fight through the depression, anxiety, hate for others, self hate, and a
whole shit load of anger. But more than reminding me of all the bad times, it reminded me of my own personal
victory and each and every friend and family member who helped me get to this
happy, positive, content place I am at now.
My Mom was my biggest support but also the most
honest person in my life. When I came back home she would not allow me to live
with her. It really hurt at the time, and every now and then still does, but I
understand her reasoning. I was 21 yrs. old and had a child, yet had never
really taken care of myself for more than a few months at a time. She felt if
she took me in then I would fail to woman up and do the things I had to do. At
the same time though, she was always there to take me to important meetings,
to the next homeless shelter, buy me food and personal things. Yes it
was a awful and traumatic experience being homeless, but without my Mom it would
have been A LOT worse. Even now 3 yrs. later, my Mother has NEVER let me
down. Whenever life hands me a hard blow (like it did this summer) my Mom is the
first one by my side fighting for me. I can not even begin to express my
gratitude for that amazing woman!
Also my Grandma and I got close for the first
time shortly after I moved in here. She had always been a optinated,
stubborn woman and I spent the majority of life resenting her. Well after
I let my guard down just a little bit (by calling her for recipes and learning
how to cook more) she was so amazingly receptive! After a few months the
hard-nose "mean" Grandma turned into my biggest cheerleader. She always told me
that I would do something great with my life, because after all, I was to
stubborn not to succeed. I lost her a little bit ago and it really hurts, but I
am so thankful to have shared the time with her that I did.
Then Kim. Kim has been my best friend for 13 yrs. now. We
haven't had the easiest relationship, but we never gave up on each other. When I
first moved in, like I stated I was a wreck. Kim helped me so much when I was
homeless and continued to help me here. It wasn't anything huge that she did
really, but it was huge for me. She was just there when I needed to talk about
things that I was to ashamed to tell others or when I just needed to get out.
And her and her amazing husband were always there for a ride to church, which
back then was so helpful to me.
Cleaning out a closet may not seem like much but it
brought back so many memories. I look back at where I was in life and I know I
wouldn't be half as far as I am now if not for these amazing people. I have been
to hell many times over, but more importantly with the love from these woman I
was able to fight may way back. It still brings tears to my eyes to remember
those awful days but at the same time it brings pride. Pride in surviving, hell
more than surviving, exceling and becoming a pretty decent, happy person. So
maybe you should go clean out a closet?